I have a hard time slowing down. I have ADHD, and since I quit drinking, I’ve had an overabundance of energy.

This morning I found a fallout four recipe book, that helps one pretend they’re cooking recipes in the video game. My daughter, who’s playing Fallout 4, was so thrilled when I showed it to her.

We cooked Yum Yum Deviled Eggs first. We loved cooking the eggs so much that we had another recipe queued up. That sounds like a happy story, but that’s half of it. Buckle in as I illustrate one of the most complicated aspects of ADHD.

I’m sitting here, and my heart is racing. I feel an uncontrollable excitement to cook and do all the things.

It’s not yet noon.

  1. I’ve instructed and guided my daughter to cook the Yum Yum Deviled Eggs.
  2. I cooked breakfast burritos at the same time.
  3. I reorganized my bathroom supplies while throwing away the unhealthy products using Yuka as my guide.
  4. I wrote a technical blog post.
  5. I ran through my routine, took my medications, read notifications and emails, and prepared for the day.
  6. And now, I’m writing this blog post.
  7. Next up, go feed ducks with the family!

I skipped my mindfulness session. I’m crazy active with or without my medication. It’s good, and it’s terrible. I wear myself and make a lot of mistakes. If I slowed down, I would enjoy higher-quality output & reduced stress.

Oh yeah, stress.

I have bruxism and pain throughout my body despite intensive self-care. I exercise and ice my hands, feet, and shoulders because I work ALL THE TIME.

I used to drink too much. Luckily, I mostly escaped gout and only drank on special occasions. I realized I drank out of habit and needed to manage my mental state. I’m fifty now, so I have limited energy, but it still feels unlimited. When I was younger, my mind would race, and drinking would slow it down for a few days. It helped, but I didn’t know why I was self-medicating.

My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD shortly before my diagnosis. Her ADHD contributed to a delayed educational progression since she has difficulty focusing. So, we put her on medication; it was a tough decision. I hope we can stop taking pills through intentional self-management. I won’t go without medication until my health is entirely managed, but that’s another couple of years away. I hope that once my pain is gone, life will become effortless. As of now, it’s a bit of a struggle.

Having ADHD is a blessing and a curse. My hands are in what seems like everything, and I always want to do more, but it’s not healthy. It causes stress and feeds anxiety. I’ve suffered heavily from anxiety sporadically over the years. It’s in hand, but sometimes life gets bumpy. On the other hand, getting into everything gives me range, knowledge, confidence, and a tool for every occasion. My first love is technology, and my mistresses are philosophy, psychology, music, community building & organization, boxing, hiking, biking, writing, reading everything, and being a father.

My experiences make me wonder what other people experience with ADHD. I wonder if Jordan Peterson is right about ADHD and I have an addressable mental imbalance.

I will continue writing about this subject and hope to learn the truth through self-reflection.