A disconnected existence was my normal for many years. Even when hyper-connected to friends, I mostly kept people at arm’s length. I think childhood trauma damaged my connection to the universe. I can’t be sure, but it seems like a smoking gun.

After wicked amounts of struggle, after running a spiritual marathon, I put on the brakes.

I reflected, and at that moment, I arrived.

I took a moment to breathe, finally. Ever since, my hopes and dreams have arrived at my preferred station like clockwork. All those magnificent impassable boulders have shattered into dust. I feel like Neo in The Matrix; there is no spoon. 🥄


Oh, how I’ve struggled. I’ve thrashed, and gnashed, and bled. I’ve smoked and drank. I’ve done drugs and lots of them. I’ve abused my body, and I still struggle with my health.

Oh, how I struggle.

It’s dumb. I should stop that.

Then I think about it again and realize the struggle IS the game; without struggle; life withers and dies, and we must struggle to unleash our full potential.

However, the needless struggle is off the menu.

I won’t punch a wall. I won’t flip tables in anger. I won’t pick fights. I won’t rage at clouds.

Old Man Yells at Cloud

I refuse to struggle to understand people. I’ll let it be; as we come together.


I feel wonder. ☄️

I hope you arrive. I hope everyone finds themselves. I hope your visual trails catch up with you. I hope you become.

I hope you feel wonder. I hope you marvel at this amazing life.

It’s a gift, and it’s a gift often taken for granted. It’s wrapped in a bow of color, rainbows, and breathtaking beauty at every corner.

It’s the only life we have, and it’s a wonder we’re alive.


I think this is Zen.

Plugging into The Matrix, but not the evil corporate kind. Tuning in to the peace, serenity, violence, pain, suffering, and joy we all experience.

Letting go of all our hangups and seeing us for who we are.

If that’s not Zen, I don’t know what is.